Some Thought Provoked Goals

I find that good writers are all around us.  But good intriguing writers are rare.  Especially those that can reach out to a mass audience and address them all.  What spurred this thought of mine?  You might be surprised, but it comes from an email I get in my inbox every week from the CPSalsa mailing list.  An individual named Patrick (who is this Patrick I wonder?) writes the most visually appealing intros and portrays his short story with tantalizing suspense.  Plus many times it is thought provoking.  And as it is a mass email that anyone can sign up for, I’ll give some excerpts here.

“I just got back from a walk around my house. I live in Arroyo Grande and, this time of year, the downtown street is filled with Christmas lights in every tree and window. It was late at night and I blew my cigar smoke in large plumes that floated up the sides of the buildings as I walked. I don’t smoke cigars often – not even once a month. When I do, they always put my in a thoughtful mood.

So, as we’re surrounded by blinking lights and busy with shopping and travelling, I have a question for you. I really want you to think about this: How are you holding yourself back? I don’t just mean in your dancing, I mean for real. I have dreams and goals; so do you, and we each stop ourselves and sell ourselves short. We say, I’ll start tomorrow, I’ll do it next week, I’ll find time next year. What are you telling yourself you’re not ready to go do, and why? I know this is supposed to be a fun salsa email, so in the name of fun and merriment I’ll add an incentive for you to think about my question.”

“That’s all for this week. Until next time, Patrick”

He also provided an incentive in return for a response.  If you want to know what it is, you should sign up for the emails yourself.  I’m not pushing anyone to do so.  I’m not affiliated with their group, though I attend a lesson every once in a while for fun.  The incentive doesn’t really matter if you’re not in the area anyway.  However, it made me think of a response for myself.  And I hope for many others as well.

“What are you telling yourself you’re not ready to go do, and why?”

Unlike a lot of people I’ve spoken to (even those who are very goal oriented), I find myself in a dilemma where there is so much I want to do, and such little time (yes yes I do also know there are a lot of you out there like that too haha).  On my bucket list, about half of them might take a lifetime in itself to build up to…unless I plan it right.  How do I become highly technical, influential in the corporation, start my own corporation, and still eventually be a stay-at-home mom?  My future kids deserve that attention.  And then build up enough funding to take on the causes that have touched me the most such as the elimination of cancer, end of human trafficking, and education in third world countries? All while traveling the world and becoming fluent in at least three languages.  Among other aspects of my list that seems to be growing each day.  And how should I leave my legacy?

I acknowledge that I am kind of in an intermittent point in my life where I’m coming up on the crossroad intersection and I’m riding the brakes to slow down my pace until I get there.  I just graduated, have a few great options in front of me, and am still confused.  But why?  There’s no stop sign to slow me down.  And yet I’m waiting, debating, turning to complete short term goals when I want to focus on my long term ones.  And I think I know why.  Once I take that first step…I’m on the road to somewhere that might not allow me to travel to the next destination, whether it be due to timing, comfort level, responsibilities, etc.  What if I miss something along the way and not have the chance to do it again?  I might walk up the stairs that lead to the room that doesn’t have windows I can jump out of.  The windowless room doesn’t truly scare me (as I guess if I really tried to I can cut a hole in the wall), but how do I choose the shortest path that allows me to hit the most nodes without doing any retracing?  I should perhaps…make a UML diagram of my future.  Lol,

I am not afraid of failure.  But I am afraid of letting other people down.  Ironic, because many times they go hand in hand.  In the end, I’m going to have to decide for myself what is most important to me.  And prioritize from there.  Because in the long run, as long as I was able to live my life to the fullest, it really won’t matter what path that I take.  The hardest part is just taking that first step.

Okay, enough talk.  Let’s go dancing.

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